I want to start this post with a quote from the book The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections and Courage by Brene Brown. It goes like this:
“When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.”
The concepts behind and around vulnerability have been ruminating throughout my brain the past couple of days. Vulnerability is a powerful thing. It is something that opens us up to a world of connection and community. But it also exposes us to the possibility of pain and heartbreak.
VULNERABILITY
As human beings, we have a tendency to avoid pain. It’s only natural. No one wants to get their heart broken or experience emotional pain. We avoid situations that are likely to get us into trouble because it stems from an instinct to protect ourselves. But when we put walls up to protect ourselves from pain we also distance ourselves from love and connection.
The reality is that you can’t have one without the other. As much as it would be nice to get to have unlimited love and community in your life, without the looming threat of heartbreak, it just doesn’t happen. To form connections, and truly experience love, you have to be vulnerable. You have to find the courage to open yourself up all the while knowing that there is a fairly good chance that one day you will be hurt.
So why am I writing about vulnerability and Brene Brown, a social psychologist and renowned speaker?
Why should I care about opening myself up to people you may be asking?
Because travel is all about connection and to form connections you have to be vulnerable.
TRAVEL AND VULNERABILITY
When I travel, I am constantly exposed to new and unknown situations. As a solo traveler, I am constantly practicing vulnerability. I have to be vulnerable with the people I meet, vulnerable with the experiences I go on and vulnerable with myself. This is not to say I am unsafe. I also take the necessary precautions to travel the world safely. But I am aware that in order to form meaningful relationships or even create a meaning day or week, while in a new country, I have to be vulnerable.
As someone who is recovered from an eating disorder I have to practice vulnerability all the time. My recovery needs to be my highest priority, which means I need to be able to ask for help when I am struggling. This one is hard for me. I like to do things on my own and asking for help used to feel like I was showing weakness. But it’s actually the opposite.
When we ask for help we are opening ourselves up to potential pain. What if the other person rejects you or laughs at you? The reality is that most people would love to help but you won’t ever experience that if you don’t first be vulnerable.
When we are vulnerable, emotionally, while traveling we encounter a whole world of love and connection. The traveling community is a generous and loving community. When you stay in hostels, the moment you step into the common space you can feel the positive and communal energy radiating off the walls. People want to connect! But you have to to be vulnerable to access it.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
So the next time you are traveling and you are scared to talk to the person sitting next to you on the airplane or the bus ignore your instinct to run away and introduce yourself. Be safe physically but dare to be vulnerable emotionally. You’ll be pleasantly surprised as the world of connection you will encounter just by taking that first vulnerable step and saying… Hi, My name is Hannah. What’s yours?
SOURCES: Brown, Brené. “The Power of Vulnerability.” Ted, Ted, www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.
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Kanika Bakshi
Fantastic blog on vulnerability and travel as even I am a solo traveller often and also I get some panic attacks of getting harmed or lost but the tips shared in the blog would make me more strong to travel alone and enjoy and explore more new places. Really liked your confidence and some experiences you shared indirectly.